A Therapeutic Dose

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion part 2 was mostly a Masterclass in over-talking. There were, of course, the requisite tears, empty threats, and deflecting of responsibility. But mostly just women in formalwear yelling variations of “I know you are but what am I?!” Time to get very still to contemplate cheese, spot clean the sweet potato out of your gown, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion is underway! Heather was acting snake-y in a dance dress. Lisa used Ben Affleck as an alibi for a secret facelift in Miami. And Bronwyn kept her lips as sealed as her criminal case files! Time to saturate your winter split ends in Kérastase, take a DNA test to find out if you’re New York “thick and through” just like Lisa (Sure, Jan.), and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

Shady playwright, Stella, and her band of lady-clowns in flowy dresses read the Sisters of Salt for filth in Santorini and fixed the spotlight, once again, on Martyr-dith Marks. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City finale took us from fun, frothy cappuccinos in the morning, to a dramatic intervention via Ancient Greek theater troupe in the evening, followed by Oscar worthy, trauma-dumping monologues from all! Time to grab some food from the buffet (Yes, Britani. You serve yourself.), cozy up on TOP of your sheets, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

On The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Mrs. Marks’ melodrama reaches new heights, and High-Body-Count Hair reaches trademark status. Greece fills out the cast this week with donkeys and Giovanni. The donkeys can keep their diarrhea, but we’re feeling Giovanni - King of DIY moussaka and comforting drama queens! Time to put on your best businessperson bathing suit, create an ultra-complex, unclear sticker chart bit, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

On the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the ladies take two minutes to slap on makeup, then get out to experience Greece! Except Lisa, who experiences two minutes of Greece but is otherwise in glam. We get sweeping views of Santorini, a closer look at Meredith’s patterns of denial, and Whitney’s momentary wisdom about the bigger picture. Time to pull up a seat at the Beef Bar, take some chopsticks to your ocular fat pads, and tune your bucket-face in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City took us back to the Boston Tea Party for anachronistic hot dogs and drug tests on ice! Wild Rose’s MLM misfire has sent Whitney & Justin into financial and marital distress. Everyone, again, reiterates that Meredith acted crazy on a plane, so Meredith calls everyone a liar. Oh, and Heather bought an Air Fryer – go girl, give us nothing. Time to throw on a Founding Fathers’ wig, catch an errant compliment from Muzzy, and tune in to this week's A Therapeutic Dose!

It was a carnival of toxic couples on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City this week! Britani & Jared took the gold, Bronwyn & Todd landed silver, and Lisa & John secured the bronze. Meanwhile, while the congregants of The Church of Satan choked down Vida Tequila, Mary’s congregation came alive under her freshly painted golden arches (ba, da, ba-ba-ba)! Time to inappropriately badger Bronwyn for a piece of her jewelry in a moment of extreme vulnerability, limp up to a chapel in a walking boot & mini skirt, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City delivered another banger this week! From a unicorn stuffie floating in the cobalt waters of The Grenadines, to Meredith Marks coming unglued at 30,000 feet, this episode left us shook and shocked and sure that Lisa was admitting guilt by stress-eating those nuggets. Time to force your heritage on a teenager, make an “arrangement” with your elderly husband, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!
 

On The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, we hit our limit of rocking seas & retching ladies, while the ladies hit their limit of Lisa’s lies & leaks! Meanwhile, “Angie and Mary in a Yacht Cabin” remains our favorite show-within-a-show. And we may not know if Todd can pat his head & rub his stomach at the same time, but we HAVE learned that he can simultaneously fart & french kiss some strange! Cool. Time to tear off your hatchet headband, throw it on the teak, and tune into this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City take to the sea, where Lisa gave us her version of “These Gay*s (* Heather) are trying to murder me!” Bronwyn was fashionably late, sporting questionable fashion. Meredith straddled the fence like Britani straddles Jared every time she commits to 30 days of no contact. And Angie carried around a barf bucket and got tucked into a bed of ice. Time to do a shot of good tequila before you transition to Vida, brush your hair into a beret, and tune in to this week’s A Therapeutic Dose!
REDDIT LINKS RAMONA MENTIONED RE BRONWYN LEGAL STUFF. H/T to r/KatOrtega118 for all her investigative reporting:
"Bronwyn’s criminal history seemingly confirmed"
"Legal Updates, Sealed Records (Part 1 of 2)"
"Legal Updates, Defamation (Part 2 of 2)"